It's Finals Week. They served FREE breakfast at midnight. Friends and I went and ate. We rock.

Now time for finishing and editing of final paper for Intro to Lit so that I can then STAY UP THE REST OF THE NIGHT ANYWAY WATCHING THINGS LIKE BUZZCOCKS AND DOCTOR WHO. HA. HA, I TELL YOU.

So I have done NaNoWriMo for three years. I won the second and third year. And admittedly, I barely scraped by last year. But I've done the 50,000 words. This makes me ask: Should I set a higher word count goal for myself?

Not too much higher, mind you. Something anywhere from 60,000 to 75,000 would suffice. (75,000 is half again, however. Which is a lot.) My term does end Nov. 22, so I'll have 8 days home, which will be enough to balance out the rest of the month... So even 75,000 words isn't unreasonable...

I don't know. What do you think?

It's that time of year again. The weather becomes cold. The dark lasts long. The dreary days last long. School is no longer novel. Work never was. And decorations of ghouls, turkeys, and trees wait in anticipation to leap into store windows.

It is two weeks until the start of National Novel Writing Month.

Ah, NaNoWriMo. What an amazing time of the year. And to think, this will be my fourth attempt, and, with determination, my third win. I've never had an experience quite like NaNoWriMo. I even wrote about it in my French AP exam for the essay. In retrospect, it feels like a whirlwind of excitement, but during November, it can sometimes be akin to dragging large weights through sand.

I have on plot yet. But that's fine. The only year which I had a plot before mid-October was my first year, 2006. And I only wrote about 8,000 words that year. I'll come up with something eventually. Even if I have to force something out at first. It will evolve.

I encourage people to participate. It really is amazing fun. I'm really impressed with the NaNo club last year. You guys are totally awesome. I'll miss those great times this year, but I'll think of them fondly when I can't find what to right next. I don't think I'll be able to do my dishes without giggling during November.

So, yes. NaNoWriMo is almost upon us. Good luck to those participating. I'll talk of little else during November, but it will pass when December comes. I'll be on Winter break by then. That will be very nice indeed.

So the question was actually "Who preferred Auden?" but the general response is the same.

Silence. "So no one preferred Auden?" A tentative hand is raised. "Kind of?" And to the class you have just said that yes, killing puppies is kind of okay.

Alright, so killing puppies might be an extreme and not very accurate analogy, but you are pretty much condemned. You are in the wrong. At least that's how I feel. It doesn't help when the teacher goes on and on about the wonderful intricacies of saving puppies, and the class goes on about saving puppies, and you gave your lame-ass reasoning for killing them first. It's disheartening to say the least. Why not just shut up and stay quiet? Part of your grade depends on expressing your ideas, but when your ideas are killing puppies, you are not looked upon kindly.

So this is basically my weird analogy for looking stupid and having the class (and teacher) think you are dumb. But that can be crippling for an individual, you know? If that individual is me. And I realize I need to adjust my attitude and then it won't be so awful, but it won't change the minds of your classmates who think you are wrong or of your teacher who thinks you missed the point. You're on an island, and you need to get used to it, or go crazy like me.

This actually wasn't going to have anything to do with the looking stupid bit, but it just came out like that when I came to writing it. This is what I thought of on my way out of my Intro to Lit class. And then I turned on Phill and Phil's Perfect Ten and kind of forgot all about it until just now.

Anyone else been in the killing puppies situation? Someone must. It's not unusual, I imagine.

On a slightly related topic, my mythology class is basically like this: "What color is this?" And you're totally colorblind. At least it's not FP, which is that the world is just stupidly idealistic.

Or maybe I'm just projecting some deep polygamist desires I have within me. I don't think so, though.

But let me give you an example of what I mean. Take Merlin. I liked the show a lot from the moment Arthur showed up on screen. I loved the show when I fully realized the wonderful coupling of Arthur and Merlin (specifically, that was series one, episode 2, probably less than five minutes in.) I adore the show now and for many reasons that just kept on piling up. Not the least of them is the budding romance between Arthur and Gwen.

I've always been a King Arthur fan. I've always loved considering King Arthur and Queen Guinevere, but also (more recently) Guinevere's relationship with Lancelot. (Camelot, anyway?) So when Lancelot appeared in the first series of Merlin, and he and Gwen had their MOMENTS (awwww), I was ecstatic. But I still love Gwen with Arthur. And I love Merlin with Arthur. And I love imagining their emotions as they try to deal with these attractions.

For example: Say that Arthur and Merlin are very attracted to one another. Arthur, however, also finds himself attracted to Gwen. At this point, Merlin and Arthur may have a thing or it could all be just unresolved sexual tension, take your pick. And Arthur feels a bit guilty that he likes Gwen, and Merlin doesn't want him to act on it, but he does. Now, Merlin can either be left by the wayside, or he accepts that Arthur loves Gwen, but still likes/loves/desires him, too, and so they might still be physical or it could be this quiet platonic thing. And then throw Lancelot into the mix and you have Gwen feeling like Arthur, Arthur feeling like Merlin (but also understanding that HE JUST DID THIS, TOO), and Merlin can't say he isn't really unhappy (except that it makes Arthur not-so-happy.) But consider that Gwen might also know about Merlin and Arthur, and she accepts that, too. And it's this whole unspoken thing that is very awkward when it's brought up, but there you have it. Fact of life, accepted, even if it isn't talked about.

Alright, so that might be a little eeeehhh... to some people, and I don't think I explained it all that well, but there's my attempt.

I think early manifestations of this can be seen in my appreciation of Rurouni Kenshin. Kenshin, of course, ends up with Kaoru, but ten years earlier, he had this quiet but passionate love with Tomoe. I LOVE that he first loved Tomoe. I love that he probably still does to some degree (or so I imagine.) The last episode (or first episode of the third?) of the second series that was an anime-only story? With the lilies? I took that as he still thought of Tomoe, even if that wasn't yet developed in the manga or whatever. (No clue where the manga was at this point. I just know that the anime never returned to the manga storyline, since it had caught up, made a bunch of filler, and then decided to just end for whatever reason.)

I consider it part of "mature romance." How is this different than young romance or just romance? Mature romance is between individuals who either a) have had relationships before, b) concentrate on mutual respect and understanding rather than impulsive passion, c) may also be in love other individuals or have sexual (but not wholly romantic) relationships with others and there is a level of understanding between some of the parties (not necessarily all) or d) any other reason I may choose to come up with at a later time, but cannot think of now (or, basically, any specific romance I decide to consider mature). So, where young romance or just plain romance may be lustful, impulsive, passionate, and emotions generally run high at all times, mature romance, while it can also have impulsive, passionate, and high emotion elements, focuses on, well, more maturity. More on understanding, acceptance, etc.

Another example from a different series: In the new Minder series (I WISH THAT WAS STILL OIG ON!), there was Archie, who is a middle-aged shady businessman in the process of a divorce. He still cares for his wife on some level, even though they drive each other up the wall. (I believe he was resisting the divorce as much as possible, and not just for financial reasons.) Then you have the young man working for him, Jamie. As one of a slashy mind, I could see some sort of physical relationship brewing between them, if not romantic. And because Archie still loves his wife, but has this undefined relationship with Jamie, and they both know that, and they accept it, and things are kind of left in limbo, and there's an unspoken moment (in my head) when the divorce finally goes through between them. But there is no whining or screaming or anything. It's just how it IS.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I like the Vintner's Luck so much. Sobran's attraction to Xas is sometimes addressed (some is-he-gay stuff), but it largely isn't. It just IS. I think the best moment to define what I've been talking about is when Aurora and Xas pass each other (one leaving Sobran's bed, the other heading to it.) Juxtapose that with one of the scenes with Sobran and his LARGE family (his wife, a number of kids, some still young, and their spouses and their kids...) and THAT is what I'm talking about. Celeste (his wife), of course, provides conflict, because she ISN'T a willing participant in this polygamy that centers around Sobran. She doesn't know about Xas, of course, but she suspects Aurora and HATES her. And gets her own petty revenge, which Sobran doens't directly address (at least not until years have passed after that.) But the rest of it! The stairs moment! I adore it! And I can't tell you why!

Why am I going on about this? This fanvideo, actually. I feel that the song (which I've heard before) when put to Merlin captures a lot of what I like in the Merlin/Arthur/Gwen dynamic.

So why I have tried to explain myself to you, I cannot fully express why I feel this way. I really don't know. There's just something about it that deeply satisfies me. Or maybe it doesn't fully, and I like that prompting for more. I don't know. I can't tell you. At least not yet.

And so, my work in the future might have elements of this. My 2008 Nanovel certainly did.

I have an essay to finish now. Toodles.

GUESS WHAT!! No, really guess what.

*waits*

You guessed yet?

( Okay, then... )

I just had a revelation. Well, alright, I didn't, but I decided to actively accept a truth.

Tell the story I want to tell. If people misinterpret it, take offense, protest, or whatever, let them. I will write what I want to write and mean what I want to mean. Screw those nay-sayers. It's not even an ISSUE at this point, because I'm not at the publishing stage.

So just WRITE, me. Which I will do.

The latest I hear on this incident is that the ones who claimed to have the copyright to sell 1984 and Animal Farm didn't actually. So Amazon removed the books on the Kindle devices, refunding the money. While this may have been because of legalities and not the "Big Brother" horror it seemed, it still IS.

First, consider general recalls, which usually are pretty frightening because it's due to something harmful. The ebooks were not harmful. They may have been unlawfully distributed, but that's the tough luck of not doing your research, Amazon. Another point about recalls is that there is an announcement. People are told they should bring their product back. Amazon gave NO warning. It just acted, and that is what makes this Big Brother. It was invading people's homes via Kindle and removing something they purchased without their consent.

I don't believe in that "renting" technicality. You sometimes pay the same price as you would for a paperback edition. Kindle prices seem to be generally $9.99, which is a PRICEY paperback. That's a full purchase in my book. It is even CALLED buying, NOT renting. Even those that are less, say $6.39 for American Gods, isn't even two full dollars less than a new paperback would cost. Hey, with the other sellers that Amazon lists, you can get a new copy for cheaper, probably.

So, they are revoking a purchase you made under the assumption you could keep it forever without notifying you. Yes, they pay you back. Yes, it was because of legalities with the text. And yes, you can purchase another copy from a different publisher. But say that it wasn't a Kindle. Let's say it was a hardcopy book.

You wake up in the morning to find a check on the table and a book missing from your bookshelf. When you find out what did happen (some copyright issue with the book that store X sold you a while back, they came and took it and refunded your money, and the only thing you can do is buy the same book from a different publisher, but the same store, and perhaps not even at the same price) that is legalizing private break-ins. So do we not own anything that is digital? When it is digital, are legalized private break-ins valid? (Rereading that, it sounds rather like the actions of a mafia gang, in an effort to sell the same product for a greater amount.)

While Amazon has said they will never do this again, because it has been terrible media for them and the Kindle, they may find a reason to do so and break their word, or some other company may choose to commit similar actions.

What do I think Amazon should have done? Amazon should have admitted publicly the copyright mistake first and removed the books from sale. They could ask for customers to return the books, if there's a way for customers to choose to do so, but other than that, there wouldn't be much that Amazon could do about the already sold merchandise.

Instead, Amazon took sneaky actions that made them look bad. Because they WERE poor actions.

This is the second time in about a week that I've heard of failings in Amazon concerning books. (The other was LGBT discrimination in spring that has since been rectified, I believe, although the sting of that probably still smarts plenty.) As a writer, a reader, and a frequent Amazon patron, this is distressing. I may shop elsewhere. It also sets up a disturbing precedent. If Amazon can do it, why can't other companies? Why can't other people?

On a side-note, going back to renting, has anyone ever heard of renting books? You rent movies and games. You borrow books. Libraries are amazing, wonderful things, and I love them.

Also, on digital ownership, I'll leave you with these questions to consider. Some may argue that because it was on a Kindle, a device sold by Amazon, and able to only have Kindle books, again sold by Amazon, Amazon has the right to remove and refund the books. I have a Windows operating system on my computer. I have some Microsoft games that I bought. Can Microsoft wipe those games from my hard drive, remove my discs, and refund my money with no notice? Can Microsoft take ANYTHING that I have on my computer, because I use Windows?

I am completely and utterly FREAKING OUT NOW!! AHHHHHH!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Quick synopsis, for those who didn't read my stuff on it earlier:

The Vintner's Luck follows Sobran Jodeau (Jeremie Renier), a young vintner. One night in summer, he meets an angel (Gaspard Ulliel), whom he believes is his luck. They meet every year on that night from then on, and Sobran slowly falls in love with the angel. Keisha Castle-Hughes (of Whale Rider fame) plays Celeste, Sobran's wife, and Vera Farmiga plays Baroness Aurora. The movie is directed by Niki Caro (also of Whale Rider fame) and is based on the MAGNIFICENT novel by Elizabeth Knox.

This is what it says on the youtube page, from the NZFilmCommission people: The Vintners Luck is an irresistible story of love, wine and angels set in early 19th century France. It tells the tale of an ambitious young peasant winemaker and his lifelong relationship with an angel as together they grapple with the sensual, the sacred and the profane in search of the perfect vintage.

ANYWAY, just watch the trailer and be totally enticed by it!!

( to the video )

Just so everyone is fully aware, the BBC show Merlin is coming to NBC in June, premiering Sunday, June 21st, at 8e/7c pm. Watch it, folks. Merlin is wonderful fun. Starring Colin Morgan as Merlin and Bradley James as Arthur, a young Merlin must face his destiny in a kingdom that forbids the use of magic. It sounds cheesy, and it is a bit, but it's really super fun.

The synopsis provided by NBC amuses me. "Before Merlin and Arthur became legends, they were ambitious young men looking for adventure. Both hoped to live up to their families' expectations, discover love and find their own true destiny...making mistakes along the way." Let's just say if it was how that description makes it seem to me, I wouldn't protest.

Here's the preview from the NBC site.

[This was written mostly in the last full week of March. So any reference to time is in relation to that.]

I finished the book Thursday, only took two days, it's not a long book. But the important bit is I REALLY liked it! :D Wheeeee~ I want to see the movie now. I'm perfectly okay with the movie being quite different from the book, I think it will have to be just by how the book is written and how much of the structure doesn't translate well, as the "chapters" are actually each a year, and sometimes the year can be two pages or less. Shortest one was two really short sentences, longest was pages and pages. That was an intense year.

Synopsis from Amazon: "One summer night in 1808, Sobran Jodeau sets out to drown his love sorrows in his family's vineyard when he stumbles on an angel. Once he gets over his shock, Sobran decides that Xas, the male angel, is his guardian sent to counsel him on everything from marriage to wine production. But Xas turns out to be a far more mysterious character. Compelling and erotic, The Vintner's Luck explores a decidedly unorthodox love story as Sobran eventually comes to love and be loved by both Xas and the young Countess de Valday, his friend and employer at the neighboring chateau."

It follows each year, as I mentioned earlier, so a lot of daily life is missing, so what some may consider big events in the life of Sobran are only briefly mentioned, and I got confused by how many children there were (it didn't help that they were often named after other characters, some who weren't dead yet.) But what was there to love about it? Well, because I have trouble expressing myself in words (a trait I must get over,) I could simply say "Everything!" But I will try to say something a little more intelligent, but it might not be in "review" form.

Favorite character has to be Xas. He's cool, and he also thinks about God and God's relationship to the world, which was quite interesting to read. Now, this isn't a religion book by any means. God sounds rather like a prick, which is fine by me, and works quite well with the biblical God (who is generally a jackass.) I think I will probably have to reread it to form an opinion about one event that involved God and Lucifer. (Not that I'm not planning to reread it anyway... hehehe...) Oh, that brings me to Lucifer. I want to like Lucifer, but I don't. I teared up at that part. Come to think of it, I don't like Michael either. I think the only REASONABLE angel in the book is Xas, and that's just because he's, well... an okay sort of guy. Like a human, but with some worries and not able to understand everything about humans because of his angelical status and also just that people don‘t understand others fully, but...

Sobran's okay as a character, and I'm perfectly fine following him throughout the book, but sometimes he just really annoys me. About halfway through, I wanted to smack him upside the head, but I also kind of pitied him. Thankfully, he shaped up some, but I was still kind of eeehh... about him as he grew older. Sometimes I'd be like, "That's really good of you, but at the same time DO NOT DO THAT!!!" And have I mentioned that I don't really see why EVERYONE loves him? Okay, so in the movie, he'll be played by Jeremie Renier, which that I can understand, but the character himself...

Another character, one that I was actually surprised I ended up liking, was Aurora. She was actually quite cool, though sometimes I thought she was annoying... But when she first showed up, I was lamenting that I wouldn't like ANY of the female characters, none of which you get to know very well except Aurora and a bit Celeste, but not really Celeste. I hate Celeste. I'm sure you're supposed to not like her much. It did feel a bit Jane Eyre, actually, with her and Sobran and his affairs... But back to Aurora. Yes, she definitely surprised me by the end of the book.

[Okay, the rest of this is being written about two weeks after I read the book, so I might be a little fuzzy on some things.]

I completely fell in love with the book several years in. The first few years were a bit awkward to read (Sobran having sex with a pregnant woman and some weird symbolic thing with dead wasps?) but when it got a little bit further in, maybe when Sobran was about 27? Oh, I was in love. There was this one scene that was just amazingly touching. What someone says about it the next day is a bit melodramatic, but that interpretation is meant to prevent the possibility of Sobran and Xas’s discovery. And it’s a character’s interpretation, not the author beating you over the head with some metaphor. So I can overlook that, and in fact, upon reflecting on it a little bit more, see how it actually adds to a loose discussion of God and people’s faith present in the novel. Now, I may be phrasing that not quite accurately, because it isn’t really commentary on the existence or place of God in the real world. But it’s interesting, nonetheless, when it does concern religion.

I think I have a thing for stories that span across a good deal of time. Benjamin Button, Vintner’s Luck… Well, okay, I can’t think of a third example at the moment. So maybe that isn’t true. Well, I did like Jane Eyre, but I wasn’t in love with it. Good Omens just skips the 12 years during which the Anti-Christ grows up… (And also the thousands of years between the Fall from Eden and the modern day.) Hmmm……… Well, I don’t know. I guess I take that back.

I really want to reread this book again, which isn’t quite possible at the moment, because there are several other things I’m reading and several things I should be doing (like school related things…) so I don’t really have the leisure to do so. I will probably when summer starts (or when AP exams and my independent study are over), but maybe before. We’ll see.

In the meantime, I highly recommend The Vintner’s Luck. I absolutely loved it.

A few notes on the movie, which I don’t think I’ve mentioned. Jeremie Renier stars in it as Sobran. I love Jeremie Renier. Gaspard Ulliel stars as Xas. That makes a very attractive pair there, and because I know a few of you are Gaspard fans, I am totally going to make you watch this movie (unless it totally sucks, but I don’t see that happening.) The girl from Whale Rider, who’s all grown up now, is Celeste, and the entire movie is directed the Whale Rider director. So it’s all very exciting. I can’t wait for it, but I must. It’s scheduled to come out in New Zealand in October, but don’t ask me if ever it will get a theater run in the US. It should, because otherwise I would be totally devastated and impatient waiting for camrips to show up online and then a DVD to finally be released SOMEWHERE. It’ll be in English, so it’s easily accessible to an American audience.

And can I say that Gaspard’s current style is actually really, really hot? I like the clicked back, longer hair on him. AND HE’S TALL. Or Jeremie Renier is just really short.

AND OH MY GOD I FOUND TWO IMAGES FROM THE MOVIE!!! Because Google loves me! <3 One image isn’t really all that cool, but another one shows Sobran, Celeste, and one of their kids. EEE. I am so excited. Plus, someone uploaded a couple of wonderful images of Ulliel and Renier at the Cesar Awards, I believe. It’s funny, because Ulliel’s so cheerful, and Renier is all “I don’t really want to be here right now, or at least have my photo taken.” But anyway. It still makes me go :D

If it is released in US theaters, we ARE ALL GOING. I will be going multiple times. Hehehehehehehehehe….

Obsessed? Me? Never!

WHEEEE!!

I am very happy. My sister basically messed up the nice computer, which my mom is pretty upset about, but now I don't care, because she agreed to give me my graduation present early (a laptop) and she did!! Yay!

So I'm playing around with it, and trying to fix it up and make it all nice and perfect and how I want it, but it'll take a little while to do all that. Later peeps!

WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, AND I AM IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE, I TELL YOU, LOVE!!!

Once upon a time, there was a young woman. Now, this woman wasn't very special. She was neither very attractive nor very intelligent. And she certainly couldn't make up for either with money or general likeability even. But she got by in the world, because on the whole, she preferred being a cheerful, optimistic person. But well, her real problem was she was as lazy as hell.

See, she sort of had lots of things to do. Which kind of included two essays and practicing her forensics pieces and not wanting to go to stage crew. And she was stressing about whether to quit her job or not, which caused her stress, the work, but she rather liked having the money. But she figured she could go poor for awhile, if she saved, and she could try to find a better job (though that would be unlikely.) All in all, she was sometimes happy and sometimes really miserable.

One of these miserable times was brought about when she couldn't get a DVD to play. It just wouldn't. She was sure it wasn't region encoded. It was PAL format, but she figured that that hadn't made much of a difference, considering her very brief search had told her that DVD players usually don't have issues playing both PAL and NTSC. This was the third time she had tried playing a DVD in PAL format, and it was the third time that it failed. And she was very angry about that indeed. And if the formatting wasn't the problem, then it WAS region encoded, and she felt too lazy to try to figure out if it was or not (which in and of itself wouldn't be too hard, she figured, but it was work she felt she shouldn't have to do.)

What she REALLY ENTRULY wanted was everything to be region free and the same format. It was very disheartening for the people who wanted to maybe watch FOREIGN DVDs and have to putz around with things that they shouldn't have had to putz around with, and everyone would be so much happier. She knew it all had to do with licensing rights or whatever, and that was all very inconvenient for her, because it negatively impacted the consumer, and instead of PROMOTING something, it actually encouraged people to NOT buy aforementioned DVDs, thus lowering multi-cultural exposure.


The End

I'd like to say she got what she wished, but I can't. That's also why I think "write what you know" is silly. Because it proves for a very boring story indeed when I do that,

"One of my many theories about short stories is that their titles and first lines ought to be memorable, because if not memorable they will not be remembered, and if not remembered the stories will not be reprinted (because no one can find them)." - Damon Knight

I am planning on submitting a short story of mine for a scholarship. I don't really think I'll get it, but, hey, might as well try. I really need to sort of rewrite it. Anyway. Wait, wait. I don't even know which story I'm doing. Yikes. That's a little worrisome.... Well, I have two possibilities. I just need to choose. And then revise.

"Grease lying! Go! Grease lying!" Sorry, I'm listening to 15 Minute Musical - Washington High School Musical. And that's McCain's/the ending song. It's kinda whatever, but a little fun. Over now. Hm.

I need to finish doing some things now. And... don't ask me what the quote had to do with this post. It didn't really, much. Except maybe I should keep that in mind. I don't even know who Damon Knight is, and I'm too lazy to find out.

Anyway, later!

I WON NANOWRIMO! Just so y'all know... Like... the... imaginary people that read this... ANYWAY.

In writing land for me, what has been up lately?

....

Other than winning Nanowrimo (with about 50,200 words)... nothing. I haven't even FINISHED the novel. I just hit the 50,000 word mark. I am close to finishing, though. It's the climax, and we just have to have this final confrontation and then the resolution, and BAM. Done. Though that might be several more thousand words.

I haven't written in awhile actually. What is wrong with me? Well, school and applications and whatnot. I guess that gets in the way of things. But then again, I am watching silly, silly shows... I mean, I could be writing the Next Great American Novel instead of watching the MIghty Boosh and waiting for my copy of the Mighty Boosh book to arrive (mid-January, by the way.)

But as it is nearly Christmas (which I celebrate when I probably shouldn't, because I am not Christian. Or anything.) and then New Year's afterwards, I will make some changes.

Change 1 - ACTUALLY WRITE.

Change 2 - Give up the title of Queen of Procrastination.

Change 3 - Spread Good Will to all those I meet. Or at least try not to hate the really detestable people as much as I usually do. We're all just people after all.

Change 4 - Refuse to make resolutions I cannot keep.

NOTE: None of the above are resolutions, it not being New Year's yet, and so therefore, Change 4 does not apply to them. :)

Thank you and have a nice day.

I am... not even at 24,000 words yet (EEP!), have school, work, birthday, and Thanksgiving to deal with this week (EEP!) and here I am posting. When I should be writing... Yikes.

BUT! I LOVE Write or Die. It is brilliant. I don't know if I could win this year without it. But I think I can make it. Hour and a half each day, yeah...

BUT! I am so happy about MERLIN!!! episode 10. It was great! Merlin and Arthur.... Gwen and Morgana... and Arthur and Gwen, because you cannot escape Arthurian Legend completely with me! <3

Okay, NANOWRIMO! Must... write... *ignores everything ELSE she has to do today... Namely schoolwork*
 

Starting this Saturday! AND I HAVE NO PLOT!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I DID have a plot, I really DID! But then... then... I thought, I don't really feel like doing this now... So I no longer have a plot! I am plotless! D:!!!!! No!!!!!

I will be looking for MEGA INSPIRATION. ......... This IS kind of fun, though... Having no plot.. But I really DO want one before i start.

...... I can't do it. Simple as that, I can't do it.

Which is bad, because a) I have to write my Jim Henson speech for forensics and b) I need to write some college application essays and c) I need to write an ancient history essay today.

............. I hate this.

The AW essay NEEDS to get done today. Or at least, 90% done. The speech needs to get done today. Or, well, 90% done. The essays I need to do this week. I need to apply this week. The second NaNoWriMo begins, I'm going to be off on that and will have no time for anything else. Why? Because in addition to my 50,000 word novel, I'm doing some short stories, and plan to use the momentum I get from writing my NaNovel to do that.

Well, now I know my career choices are limited at least, knowing that I can't write essays and speeches. If you can, you are lucky and amazing and I bow down to you in your supremacy.

Fiction is EASY. You toss some people together and a conflict and voila. Speeches/essays, though... *shakes head* They should poof out of existence.

"I kind of liked it your way how you shyly placed your eyes on me. Oh, did you ever know that I had mine on you?" - Faye Wong, Eyes on Me

I am a romantic. I can't write romance. I also don't read romance novels as a genre. But I like my stories to be romantic.

I find myself, recently, drawn most to mature romances. Now, this may sound a little weird considering I am saying this after finishing a manga volume revolving around a 16-yr old kid and a... 28, 29 year old? So you'd imagine that it'd be rather teen like. But the kid has to be mature and take into consideration things most teens in teen romances don't have to consider, making him more mature and the romance more mature (even though when it comes to what results from that romance, he's extremely embarrassed and reserved. But it's cute.) One of my favorite manga volumes ever right there, though... Ahh... I cry (from happiness) and I can listen to the drama CD again and again. (And I have.)

But, yes, back to mature romances. What is the typical youth romance you think of? A couple of teenagers finding love for the first time and it's passionate and awkward and full of confused emotions. More mature romances can still be passionate and awkward and full of confused emotions, but it's different somehow. I probably should put more thought into this before saying it, but...

So that's what I want to write. Mature romances (and just for the record, I'm not dealing with level of explicitness here. You know what I mean.) But I can only imagine what that's actually like, and use other stories as a point of reference. But that's okay, I think. I'll learn. So my first "mature romances" might be pretty silly, but with time..  Which is one thing that makes the romances more interesting. The characters have had more time to sort out their confused hormonal feelings from their teen years and generally have more experience and knowledge about relationships. They can have a deeper, more meaningful relationship because they understand people better than teenagers do.

Maybe that's a load of hogwash, but that's what I feel it's like.


I love this song. Fame from FFVIII obviously. When it is played in the game, I love that part (a nice scene between Squall and Rinoa, who I think are cute together, even though for fannish pleasures I'm a Seifer/Squall fan all the way), but what I really love is how you can apply it to two other characters in the game. I'm not sure if it was written SPECIFICALLY for the game, but it certainly sounds like it does from the lyrics. I'm too lazy to look it up, though. I have yet to win FFVIII. That should be my goal this next year. Been trying since 8th grade. (I finally got to the last disk though! Wooo!)